Thursday, January 20, 2011

Spiders ... Root of all evil!

Image from here
To say I'm scared of spiders is a complete understatement!  The other night we had not one but TWO huge ass spiders run across my lounge floor. I made Him get up and chase them with a shoe and kill them while I sat on the couch screaming like a 5 y/o who's ice-cream had just been stolen by the school bully.

This reminds me of something that happened to me a couple of years back (2009 to be exact!). We went camping for the December holidays with some friends. Middle of the night I need to go to the bathroom, so being the brave soul that I am, I take the flash light with me along with my cell phone (for just in case I need to call someone you know.) to the bathroom.

I go about doing my business, finish up and just as I stand up I see this HUGE ass spider stalking me (and yes it was stalking me, sadistic fucker!). I moved, it moved towards me. Now picture this, I'm in my pj's, in a toilet cubicle, flash light in one hand, phone in the other. Logical thing to do is run right? Yeah, I wasn't thinking straight.

I climbed on top of the toilet. So there I am, standing on the toilet, freaking out almost in tears. I must have stood there for a good 10 minutes watching this thing circle the toilet. I did the only logical thing to do next. I called Him. I explained the situation and after a good 5 minutes of him laughing himself sick on the phone he said he'd come get me. So I waited. I could see this sadistic bastards eyes watching every move I made.

He eventually got to the bathrooms pushed the door open to see me as described above. After another 5 minutes laughing (now worse than before on the phone! Asshole) he killed the thing so I could climb off the toilet and go back to bed. In hindsight, it was more than likely a shadow chaser which is why the stupid thing kept following me. But I wasn't going to take the chance!!

Image & Info from here

"Camel spider is about 12cm with its legs outstretched. It will NOT chase people! This perspection may be due to Camel spider seeking shade in open, therefore it will follow the shadow of a person which gives the impression that it is 'chasing' him. Rest assure, they are just some shadow-seeker, not human-chaser."

Worst experience ever (bar that one time I had a spider crawling on me when I was a kid and it took up residence in my school jersey).


  1. Hey, if I saw a big ass spider I know in my heart of hearts I'd be reduced to a very, very, scared crying sissy baby! haha

  2. Haha, I'm glad you owned up to it! Not alot of guys are able to express their sissy baby sides of themselves.

  3. I know what you mean about spiders. I had a huge ass one hanging around my house until winter started. He was creepy huge.

  4. I HATE them. I almost have a panic attack when I see them. Bastards, the whole lot of them.

  5. Here's a tip if you're a Windex user: squirt the spider with Windex, the ammonia will kill it.

    Or you can get a cat that eats them, like mine!

  6. Ooo thanks, I try squirt shaving cream on them. It traps them and then they can't eat or do anything, and they die!

    I am unfortunately allergic to cat's so there is no chance of having a cat eat them.