Thursday, January 20, 2011

Spiders ... Root of all evil!

Image from here
To say I'm scared of spiders is a complete understatement!  The other night we had not one but TWO huge ass spiders run across my lounge floor. I made Him get up and chase them with a shoe and kill them while I sat on the couch screaming like a 5 y/o who's ice-cream had just been stolen by the school bully.

This reminds me of something that happened to me a couple of years back (2009 to be exact!). We went camping for the December holidays with some friends. Middle of the night I need to go to the bathroom, so being the brave soul that I am, I take the flash light with me along with my cell phone (for just in case I need to call someone you know.) to the bathroom.

I go about doing my business, finish up and just as I stand up I see this HUGE ass spider stalking me (and yes it was stalking me, sadistic fucker!). I moved, it moved towards me. Now picture this, I'm in my pj's, in a toilet cubicle, flash light in one hand, phone in the other. Logical thing to do is run right? Yeah, I wasn't thinking straight.

I climbed on top of the toilet. So there I am, standing on the toilet, freaking out almost in tears. I must have stood there for a good 10 minutes watching this thing circle the toilet. I did the only logical thing to do next. I called Him. I explained the situation and after a good 5 minutes of him laughing himself sick on the phone he said he'd come get me. So I waited. I could see this sadistic bastards eyes watching every move I made.

He eventually got to the bathrooms pushed the door open to see me as described above. After another 5 minutes laughing (now worse than before on the phone! Asshole) he killed the thing so I could climb off the toilet and go back to bed. In hindsight, it was more than likely a shadow chaser which is why the stupid thing kept following me. But I wasn't going to take the chance!!

Image & Info from here

"Camel spider is about 12cm with its legs outstretched. It will NOT chase people! This perspection may be due to Camel spider seeking shade in open, therefore it will follow the shadow of a person which gives the impression that it is 'chasing' him. Rest assure, they are just some shadow-seeker, not human-chaser."

Worst experience ever (bar that one time I had a spider crawling on me when I was a kid and it took up residence in my school jersey).

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Not quite what I expected ... (Rant!)

*Start of Rant!*

Earlier (About 2 hours ago) I was like this:

Image from here

As my best friend went into labour and had a baby girl (which she was so longing for) I was/am so excited for her.

But then my mood turned to this:

Image from here
The reason you may ask. Well here we go:

I called said friend to congratulate them on the birth of their baby and to find out what they were naming her etc. Only to have said friends husband brush me off like I'm fucking nothing to the family. I know he's tired, and she's tired but they have had tons of visitors (including my brothers girlfriend) so clearly they can take a phone call from one of their LONGEST STANDING FRIENDS! I asked very nicely what they were naming her only to get a response as follows:

Me: Wow, congratulations on the birth of your baby girl!
Him: Thanks
Me: So, have you decided on a name for her yet?
Him: Silence
Me: Hello?
Him: Stop being so impatient!
Me: Oh, have you taken any photo's of her yet to send out?
Him: They are sacred.
Me: So does that mean I'm not getting one?
Him: Silence
Me: Hello?
Him: I'm here
Me: So are you happy you had a little girl? I know "K" should be ecstatic!
Him: Clearly I did something wrong
Me: Oh, OK? ... Can I get a picture?
Him: I'll send you one now
Me: Oh cool, thanks. How is "K" doing?

He fucking hung up on me! I can't believe how rude he was! I'm fuming!! It's like he doesn't want me to know anything about this baby. To be honest, right now I feel like I don't care regarding all the information I wanted now.  I'm too pissed off to even go and visit as I know I'm going to say something. And to add fuel to the fire, the other night when she went in as she couldn't walk (due to baby lying on a cervix muscle) I heard this great nugget he had to say "It's no longer about her, it's about the baby" WTF??

She's my best friend and that's how I get treated?? Great ...

I still haven't got a picture from him. Go figure.

*End of Rant!*

Monday, January 17, 2011

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Hungry Fish?

So my mom is going for a pedicure next weekend as a birthday treat from my brother and SIL. This is all good and well, but the treatment she is going for is to have fish actually EAT her feet.  This freaks me out for a number of reason.  I mean, who on earth though "well those fish look hungry, let me stick my feet in the water and see what they'll do!".  Yeah, not such a good idea should that water be filled with piranhas.

Picture from here.

This reminds me of something that happened to me a few years ago while holidaying in Mozambique. We were on an island and the water was so clear you could see all the way to the bottom of the ocean. So deciding we were going to go for a swim (as it's shit hot there!) to cool down we run to the water and dive right in.  While wallowing swimming in the cool water I looked down at my feet and saw fish making a b-line for my feet. I screamed like a banshee and ran for the cover of beach sand.  There was no way in hell I was letting any fish regardless of how small HUGE they are attacking my feet.  Regardless to say, everyone just about wet themselves at my dismay.

I love Mozambique and really can't wait to go back there. I guess I'll only make it back there next year as Little One can't go until she is over 11kg's. Still a while to go as she was born at 1.6kg's and is now only 3.22kg's as of Wednesday.

Friday, January 14, 2011

What will today bring?

See, I'm smiling.  That must mean I'm happy. This couldn't be any further from the truth! 

Firstly I was alerted this morning by Annah from Red Means Go that there is a new Zodiac sign. Great.  That means my Little One who was born under the Scorpio sign is now going to be a Libra.  I think not!

I then find out that my best friend might be in labour. She's in pain, being sick and guess where she is ... at work. Although I can sympathise with her being at work and in labour, it's just not the right place to be! I've told her very politely to pack up her shit and go get check out by the Dr. Her husband is on his way to pick her up. Great. New addition may be here sooner than expected!

Then, I'm sitting on the toilet (doing what you do there) and my boss phones. I have a dilemma, do I answer while I'm doing my business or just let it ring and go to voicemail. I left it to go to voicemail.  This irritated me for 2 reason.
  • I was busy with my phone at the time downloading an application and it canceled the download.
  • I'm on maternity leave for another month and a half, what the hell does he want from me now? 
 Turns out, he's looking for a piece of paper that I had way back in March 2010.  Where can he find it? How the hell am I supposed to know?? It was written on the smallest piece of paper on the face of the earth and I've moved offices. Now I'm supposed to remember where the hell it is. I told him I had no idea and to search through my stuff.

On a happy note, I might not see my Out-Laws today. That is such great news! One evening with them a week ago was more than enough for me to be honest. I'm just thankful they live on the other side of the country and we don't see them often. I know, horrible but true!  I just can't handle them with their condescending tone and know it all attitude.  If I wanted their advice or stories on their upbringing, I'll ask for them.  In the mean time, just shut the fuck up!

My 30th birthday party is tomorrow. I'm looking forward to that. Not so much the turning 30 part though. But I have heard it's great being 30.  I haven't noticed any change.  I'm having a bring and braai (I know, I'm a cheap skate.  But hey, I have a 2 month old to fend for!). Should be good. Just hope this weather clears up and it doesn't rain like the weatherman has predicted (although, who can trust them? They are almost always wrong in their predictions ... wonder if they are linked to the Zodiac system too?).

Mmmm ... Now I'm hungry with the thought of all that food tomorrow. Might have to send Him to get me some lunch.  That sounds like a great idea.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I'm sorry ... How rude of me

I swear I'm a nice person (well most of the time anyway) but since becoming a mom things have changed just a bit.

Today while coming out from the shop with Little One in my arms I spotted across the road a woman (I'd put her in her late 40's) basically come running across the road to have a look at her.  Now usually I wouldn't mind but to purposefully RUN across a road to see a baby just bugs me a little bit.  So what do I do? Open the car door, put Little One in her car chair and stand right in the door way while buckling her in.  Not giving any space for this really odd woman to see into my car to see her.  She turned round, walked off and I heard her muttering something about "that was rude".  I'm a bitch, I know.

Why do people find it's OK to touch someone else's baby? I don't go round touching other people's asses/boobs/dicks or any other part of their bodies so why is it appropriate for them to touch my baby girl? I have no idea where they have had their hands! For all I know they have in fact been scratching their crotch and have not bothered to wash their hands. And they want to touch my baby with that ... I think not!

He is the same as me. We went shopping in a mall one day and while I was looking at something he went walking around. When I eventually caught up to him he was all moody and pissed off.  So naturally I asked what the problem was.  What had happened was some woman spotted him with the Little One and almost stalked him to see her.  He ran like the wind. He wants to make a sign that says:


I'm starting to agree with him there.

Monday, January 10, 2011

You, Me and the Little One

It's been so hard to not lose my temper with him lately.  He just does my head in.  He sleeps at night, I'm up all night looking after the Little One and I get almost 0 sleep!  Quite honestly I have no idea how I'm coping at the moment and how I have not fallen over from sleep deprivation!

I feel like he only wants to be a dad when HE feels like it and not when he NEEDS to be.  I continuously have to ASK him to do things, he never just does them because he needs to or because better yet, he WANTS to. In front of people he acts like the doting dad but in the background it's all left to mommy to do everything.  I think if I got an hour and a half's sleep last night it was a lot.  He slept all night bar 45 minutes when I woke him up to please feed our Little One while I went to the bathroom.

I sometimes think he thinks it's still the dark ages where the wife does all the caring for the Little One and the men get to do "manly" things.  Yeah, it's 2011, it doesn't work like that anymore.  I get up at the same time as him in the morning and I'm at the office just like him all day.  So it's not like I get to sleep during the day while he's at the office working.

On a different note, I'm thinking of going to a dietician soon, I just can't keep up like this anymore.  I know I only picked up 10kg's with my pregnancy but those 10kg's have put a huge strain on me.  I feel HORRID all day (and I guess that’s because of the no sleep too!) And I just can't carry on like this anymore.  I need to do something, anything!

Little One has been sick lately so she's not getting much sleep either and she cries often which annoys him to no end and he lands up shouting at her.  All I want to do is shout back saying "For crying in a bucket, she's only 2 months old! Get over yourself and soothe your daughter!" but yeah, I don't have the balls to do that yet.  I'll hopefully get there one day.